Dear Jackson,

Well Buddy, we had quite a ride last week, huh? Since you (hopefully) won't remember the day, I thought I better write it down and maybe if you're interested when you're older you can read about it...

You were my hardest pregnancy. I don't know what that means about your future temperment, and it maybe just means I'm getting old - I guess time will tell... :)

On October 29th, I went to the hospital at 7:30am to be induced. You were 38 weeks and 5 days old. By about 9am, the doctor broke my water and they started pitocin in my IV.
By 1:30pm, I was crying and asking for an epidural to help with the pain. They started setting up for the epidural and also for your arrival. At 3:30 the epidural was wearing off and it was nearly time to push. Not very good timing...

At 4:16pm, after some vacuuming, some blood spraying, some extreme pain, and some very scary moments you were more wrenched into the world than you were born into it... The first thing I heard was a nurse say, "Oh my! I wouldn't be surprised if he was a 13 pounder!" I thought she was joking until she read your weight from the scale: "12lbs, 10 oz. and 22 inches long." I still thought she was kidding.

They took you away almost immediately because of the "birth trauma," and since I didn't hear anything for awhile I was scared something was wrong. One of your shoulders had gotten stuck and the doctors were worried you would have a broken arm or nerve damage. You didn't. They were worried about your blood sugar dropping too low so they gave you an IV. It turns out you didn't really need that, either. They were worried about your breathing - it was too fast - and with time you outgrew that, too.

You spent your 2nd day in the NICU, but I was able to hold you around midnight and then feed you a bottle the next afternoon.

You spent your 3rd day in the NICU and were doing so well, they let you come out to my room. This was the day we finally chose your middle name: Joel. That evening, you got to meet your brother and sisters and your Grandma & Grandpa.




You spent your 4th day in the blue light box to treat your jaundice. By then you were a NICU legend - eating 2 or 3 ounces each feeding - and your had nurses nicknamed you Bubba.


And on your 5th day you got to go home. You weighed 12lbs exactly and no one was worried about your weight loss. :)


I feel like I couldn't love you more than I do right now, but I know I will. Tomorrow and the next day and the next - I'll love you more. I'm so thankful for you and for your health. God has been so good to us, Buddy.

I Love You, Mom