Favorite Foto Friday

Ok, this is actually not one of my favorites, but it makes everyone else laugh. I was reminded of this one when my sister and I were talking about how being pregnant makes you feel huge. In this case, though, I was huge.

Squeaker

Grant at 7 months ~ thank you, Sadie for the picture!

Grant is 7 months old today and I can't say it enough ~ I love this kid! :) He is a super happy baby who loves to eat and who talks himself to sleep at night. He has Joel's easy smile, my (very) blonde hair, and I wouldn't trade him for anything :) Happy "Birthday", Buddy!

Mom

Reagan had another great day today. This morning, my mom - through Sadie - gave Reagan and Grant their Christmas presents. Reagan's was a stuffed monkey that is white and when you push it's hand it lights up and illuminates the animal from the inside all these different colors. Its really soft and it changes from red, to green, to white, to pink, to blue, and looks really cool in the dark. The perfect gift for Reagan who's bed looks like the little girl's closet in E.T.

Its no secret that my mom and I don't really have a "relationship" right now. Whatever that means -- that's at least what everyone says about us. Because my mom and I don't talk, Reagan and my mom don't know each other. I've often wondered if I'm doing the right thing for Reagan by not forcing more interaction between the three of us... after all, I believe that it's best for kids to know their grandparents. I've said very little about her to Reagan and just the other day, Reagan was looking at our wedding pictures and naming everyone -- she asked who my mom was, and so I told her that 'that lady' was "my mommy". Reagan accepted that and then tried to figure out why Aunt Sandy looked so different (I think Sandy was 13 or 14? when Joel and I got married :).

I have spent many hours thinking about my mom. I haven't gotten to this place by accident, but I will admit I never thought we would still be like this after so many years. Several times I've thought that I've made the right decision not to pursue her and a couple of times, I've cried because I'm a mom now and can't imagine my life without Reagan.

The night I turned 30 was probably my saddest night. Grant was not quite a month old and our friend Nichole was babysitting so Joel and I could have supper together. We had a great time and were driving home when Joel's parents called to wish me a happy birthday. I talked to them for 15 minutes or so and they closed (as they always do :) with "I love you's" and "we're proud of you" and "we miss you". After I hung up, I started crying and Joel waited for me to explain.

My friends from work had "decorated" (TP'd) my house the night before - they came to the house because they remembered I was 30, and since I was on maternity leave they couldn't decorate my desk. So here I was - at the end of my all important birthday - feeling very loved by friends, by Joel & the kids, by my in-laws, and by my family/sisters, but what about my mom? I was crying because I was wondering if she remembered what she was doing 30 years ago on that day. I'm willing to be wrong, but I'm pretty sure she remembered and then that made me all the more sad that we didn't talk. (I think that when Reagan turns 30, it will be as much a milestone for me as it will be for her!)

I'm getting off track...

It was Reagan's bedtime and after singing our songs, and several minutes of talking together, it was time to pray. Tonight Reagan's prayer was "Thank you God, for this cool monkey and thank you God for the mommy of Sally who gave me this cool monkey. A-men." As my eyes welled up, I could only agree. "Thank you, God. Amen."

Monday Memory

The three of us when Grant was little.


This is an excerpt from an email I sent to my friend Lisa in August. I came across it while I was deleting stuff and it reminded me of how far I've come in 6 months. If you know me at all, you've already heard this story. :)

This is a story about my "new" reality...

Last Friday I took Grant to his 2-week check-up. The appt. was at 10:15 and I haven't been able to leave the house before 11:00 since Grant was born -- I knew it would be a challenge, but I was up to it. I made it there and was checked in by 10:10, so I was patting myself on the back for being the new mom of two who has her act together.... But remember, pride comes before the fall....? They made us wait at least 30 minutes. By then, Grant was crying because he had a dirty diaper and was getting very hungry. No problem for the Super mom, right? I could change him when we got to the room with the nurse. (I read all the books in the waiting room to Reagan and then we ran out, so she started picking out all the 'books' in Spanish on Hepatitis A. I kept telling her "sorry honey, I can't read those, they're in Spanish" (she has no idea what Spanish is. After that, everytime she picked out a book, she would ask "this one in Spanish, Mommy?")

So we got called back and the minute we got into the room, Reagan started talking and didn't stop until we left. So as you're reading the rest, pretend like you hear Reagan's sweet voice in the background the entire time asking questions. "What's this mommy? Can I have colors? Can I have juice? Can I have fruit snacks? Take off my shoes mommy? Read books, mommy? What's she doing mommy? Grant crying, mommy? Grant cold mommy?", etc. etc. So I changed his diaper -- good work, mom. But then he wouldn't calm down, so I decided to warm up his bottle. That is when I discovered half of the bottle had leaked out into the diaper bag. But I still had half, right?

So I tried to get the lid off and warm it up under hot water in the sink. The lid was stuck, so I had to set Grant down so I could use both hands. That was when he started the open-mouth-silent-cry because he was so mad. I finally got the lid off, but in the process, I sprayed the walls, the floor, the counter with all the 'doctor tools', the doctor's stool, and anything else nearby with the breastmilk that was spilled and trapped in the lid. All I wanted to do was pick up Grant, but I had to hurry and clean up all this milk before the doctor came in and saw everything covered in breastmilk. Gross. I cleaned up and just as I was throwing away the last of the paper towels, the doctor came in. Grant was freaking out, so she couldn't listen to his heart until he calmed down. While I was trying to quiet him (and Reagan) she asked me how it was going. I was sweating, embarrassed about the milk-thing, and really frazzled about Reagan's incessant talking. So I lied and answered "Great!" a little too enthusiastically. After she checked Grant over, I asked her to re-check Reagan's ears. I held Grant to give him his bottle finally, and as the doctor turned around to tell me Reagan's ears looked good -- that's right when Grant exploded/pooped and it ran out the back of his diaper, onto my shirt and down onto the floor. *big sigh*

The doctor looked at me, and clearly saw I was not capable of cleaning up the floor so she did it "so I wouldn't slip on it". Thank-you, Doctor Halbur, and I'm sorry -- oh, and by the way, I'm also sorry about the breastmilk I sprayed all over the walls... Of course, my little commentator, said "What's that mommy? Baby Grant make a mess?" "Yep, Sweetie and I'm sorry, but this means that we can't go to the library today."

The Doctor gave me a look of pity and asked me if I had any other questions -- um nope, except how long before we all have to be clean, dressed and out of this room? Because its going to take a little while... The doctor left and as soon as I set Grant down to get him dressed, he barfed all over the table. Poor kid.

By then, Reagan had taken off her shoes, and I had to practically crawl under table to reach them and by the time I ran my shirt under water, got Grant (and Reagan) dressed to leave, I swear it was 20 minutes. I was still sweating and now my shirt was soaked and stained yellow all down the front. Reagan was still chatting as we finally emerged from the tiny room only to run into the doctor again who still looked at me with pity -- probably wondering what in the world my house must look like.

After having read this story again, I am amazed at what hasn't changed... The three of us still look like a circus act when we go to the doctor, Grant spits up squash instead of pooping on me, and Reagan is *still* talking...

...but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Explaining Easter

Since my failure to properly explain Valentine's Day to Reagan, I have been determined to do a better job with Easter... Tonight was my window - my teachable moment...

Reagan was reading while I put Grant to bed. She chose her children's Bible and was sitting in the hallway, reading to Cheetos (her stuffed cat). Noah's Ark, "God says not to argue", and Simon and the fishing, were the bits and pieces of the stories I overheard.

Reagan has been pretty excited about Easter (though I doubt she remembers anything from last year). She knows what dress she'll wear and she knows that she will help Ayla (her cousin) find Easter eggs and put them in her bag (Reagan came up with that on her own :). So tonight when I offered to read her the story of Easter from her Bible, she wanted to hear it. We read about Jesus' death on the cross and then about the Angel, and stone rolled away, and Jesus coming to life again. The stories were written for kids, but not for two year olds. I tried my best to explain "sins" but I thought it went way over her head. We talked about "forgiveness" next. She said "God forgives me and then we can cuddle!" (In her mind, she was relating it to our spanking process -- we talk about what went wrong, what to do different next time, spank, and then forgive & cuddle.)

By this time, Joel was home from his basketball game, and came down to tell Reagan goodnight. I asked her to tell Daddy what she had learned tonight (to see if she understood anything we had talked about). She said "God forgives me when I spit!" Well... yeah...

When we were praying, she prayed for Jesus' hands and feet that got 'poked', and she asked me to do the same. I think we'll have several more conversations about Easter yet this season and I am looking forward to watching Reagan make sense of all this in her mind.

Wacky Wednesday Photo

Sadie dug out this picture for me to use today. She took it two summers ago when Reagan was 18months or so. Reagan still loves sunglasses...

Sleeping Angel

So this doesn't qualify as a FFF (Favorite Foto Friday) because its Monday, but the topic made me think of Grant. He sleeps weird and I took this picture last night so I could post it. I'm not sure if it started when he was sick - maybe because he couldn't breathe while on his back? He just makes me smile as he sleeps like this. :)

Just like...

...my brother.

...my Daddy.

...my sister. (Grant giggles when he sees Reagan's dolls :)

Cyclone Saturday

If you're thinking of taking a two-year-old and a 6-month-old to Hickory Park and then to an Iowa State Basketball game... don't. I have the two most patient, sweetest, and best children you could ask for and they did great. It was the 3 trips to the bathroom, the 3 trips up the stairs to the 15th row of the balcony and the trips to and from the car (we had to park at the football stadium!) carrying 20lbs of dead weight (Grant was crying on the way in - sleeping on the way out). Whew! I was sweating and sore before tip off.

Every year, we try to go to an ISU BB game with Joel's old college roommates, Jacob (& Amy) and Jeff (& Sarah) and this was the weekend. :) Reagan kicked Jeff in the back so many times, we may not get invited next year - we'll see...

Reagan has been looking forward all week to "trying again" to get a hug from Cy. This time, she got her wish. :)


Since Reagan is a pro at attending basketball games, she thought she should teach Grant how to clap. :)


The last one is a picture of our family - the kids look like they are in a trance or something, but they're actually looking at the action on the court down below. :)


We had a fun day -- especially Reagan -- but I am ready for bed.

Let's Go Steak!

Today we took Reagan to her annual ISU basketball game. She loved it of course, and had been counting down the days until Saturday.

Before going to bed, Reagan and I talked about what our favorite parts of the basketball experience were. Her's was the "silly hamburger part". (It is a Culver's(?) promotion where 2 teams of 2 people try to "Build a Burger" and they run back and forth across the gym wearing giant hamburger bun suits and collecting the burger, pickles, bacon, etc. before belly-flopping onto the pile to complete the "burger". I didn't even know Reagan was watching when that was going on. After talking about Mommy's favorite part (ice cream), it was quiet for a minute before out of the blue, Reagan says (loudly) the new cheer she learned at the game: "Let's Go Steak!"

I smiled and gave her a two-minute lesson on how you were actually supposed to say "Let's Go State!" and that State means Iowa State and there Reagan - now you're ready to say it right.... She looked at me (and had acted as if she listened to me) and then was quiet for a minute before she said "Let's Go Steak!"

I didn't feel like arguing, so I said - "well, you can say steak if you want -- I guess it doesn't really matter" and was prepared to drop it. Reagan again was quiet for a minute and then looked up at me and said "Let's Go Hot Dogs!" What?! But I couldn't help myself, that made me laugh out loud. She was especially pleased that she had made me laugh and tried to re-create the moment by saying "Let's Go Blankets!" "Let's Go Socks!" "Lets Go Bed!" and giggling after each one and looking to see if I thought they were funny.

Tonight as first Joel, and then I prayed with her she said different versions of the same thing. "Thank you God for basketball, and for the silly hamburger part, and the cheerleaders, and the jumping (the amazing halftime act here)." A-men.

And here, I was just thankful that the tickets were free...

Superbowl Sunday

We tried to watch the Superbowl last night - I say "tried" because all that really meant was that the game was on instead of Dora. :) We made some "Superbowl food" but between the kids' supper, baths, and bedtime there's not much time left to actually watch the game. Reagan was most excited that she got "Gushers" (fruit snacks) as her special Superbowl food. I'm sure she will remember and remind me of that 'tradition' next year for the Superbowl, also.

Grant is healthy again. His cough is gone and he had his 6mo. shots last week. He is 19lbs, 8oz. and is 95% for height, 85% for weight, and 75% for head size for anyone keeping track of stuff like that :) (me) He eats 3 'meals' (cereal and a full container of food!) a day and two bottles. I think we are going to go broke trying to feed him when he's a teenager.

I will finish with my funny anecdotes of the kids. Yesterday, Grant sneezed while in his exersaucer and as he did it, he banged his forehead on one of the toys that stick up -- he is his Daddy's boy! He hardly cries normally, and since he cried when he did it, it must have really hurt (and probably scared him, too).

Reagan continues to say and do things that crack me up. Too many to write. My favorite Reagan words right now are "flat" and "cause". Let me give you the definitions:
To "flat" something is to spread it out flat. She is always asking me to flat - actually pronounced "fwat" -- out her covers on her at bedtime or to flat her pants in the morning, so she can put them on.
To "cause" something is to pause it. This is mostly used when talking about her movies -- as in: "Daddy, pwease cause my movie while I go potty?".

This last week, Reagan learned the words to the song "You Are My Sunshine" she sings (confidently), "You make me happy when skies are great" and it makes me giggle almost every time. She has no idea why I'm laughing, so every time we start to sing that song at bedtime, she looks at me expectantly, and then giggles a little bit while she sings, trying to figure out what part is funny to me. :) Needless to say, out bedtime routine takes way longer than it should... :)