Bittersweet

Today was my last day of work and it was sad and hopeful all at the same time.

Today was hopeful. Hopeful that life is maybe going to get a little easier (before it gets A LOT harder). The kids both have colds & sore throats and didn't sleep well last night. When they're not sleeping, no one is sleeping. I think between the two of us, we had to get up 6 or 8 times - I stopped counting when I started getting angry, and that was at about 4:30am. I am exhausted and ready to start doing life at a slower pace -- if that's possible.

But today was sad, too. It was sad because I said "goodbye" to some of the people I've been sharing day-to-day life with for the last 8 years. Its strange the way time is divided, but I think I spent as many "waking" hours with my co-workers as I did with my actual family. I know their habits and they can finish my sentences. It was really hard for me to say that 'relationship-changing' type of goodbye. It was really hard. I cried. (I know you're not surprised.)

And before you try to encourage me by saying "the kids will be better for it". You should look closer at Grant's face...

What you're seeing is actually two black eyes but in the same eye. The bruise under his eye is the one from his crib from my earlier post. The new one on his eyelid is from today. (He went face first down the slide before I could stop him.)

So you see, it's not obvious yet that my kids are better off being at home with me. In over a year at Sadie's house, Grant never got a black eye. In just a week of being home in the afternoons with me, this is what happens...